Addressing colorism in a society that promotes and all-light features beauty standard.
God's value system vs the Aryan worldview!
So how can one overcome this? And should we, Western woman with darker features; accept this? The struggle is real! It goes like this:
The other day, I watched a video called: "The Mystery Behind European Skin, Eye, and Hair Color". I thought it to be very fascinating how this all came about. After all, this is where my heritage comes from.
However, if you decide to follow any of these various Western celebration sites, pages, and videos you may occasionally run into these colorist men (and women) who like to project their anti-brown features beauty standard on everyone else. Sometimes it even comes in the form of "featureism" which I have touched on in another blog called: "You look Asiatic. Are you Asian?" They really came after me on that one. So I will also warn you about these people. Some of them may even be neo-pagans and they will often come under these posts just to push this "all light features" beauty standard on everyone.
I have seen it too many times. This bashing of white people with darker features and this bashing of people of other races coupled with self-hate indoctrination is prevalent on many of these pages.
Addressing colorism in the Western community
Some say that colorism is only judging someone based on their skin color. But in the Western community, we experience colorist bias in a very different way.
Sadly in the West, colorism also starts with hair color and eye color. Why are black hair and dark brown-haired people faced with so much prejudice? Many have considered them to be less desirable, no matter how pale the skin is.
This is a meme pathogen.
Meme pathogen (MP) definition:
A Meme is an idea that spreads from one person to another person. A Pathogen is something that is bad for you. When we say Meme Pathogen, it means an idea that is destructive.
It's insane how often I've seen these posts and comments putting down dark features on people. Here is a perfect example of colorism. I came across a guy being put down for his dark hair and eyes, and tanned skin complexion.
He stated: "I look Native American I have very tan skin really dark brown hair dark brown eyes but I am almost 100 percent Scottish."
Comments bashing his physical appearance:
Loeykalel: (("That sucks. You have the same generic color palette as almost everyone else in the world."))
Mossad Hunter: (("Sorry to hear that. Sounds problematic."))
In defense of the guy who made the original comment, I stated:
Sonya Marlene: "I have dark brown locks and I love my hair color. Who is anyone to say it’s not beautiful? Brunets are just as wonderful as blondes and reds. To say otherwise is ignorant and shallow."
I've got a very unique beautiful shade of dark brown hair that is unlike any other shade of brunette hair I've seen on anyone else (with the exception of my father and grandmother Sharon Rose). You're not going to be able to find this hair shade in a bottle or on a hair extension.
It's super shiny and soft to the touch. I prize it. Meanwhile, this smarty-pants of a kid decides to chime in and put in his two cents by calling me 'a snowflake' and to deemed these 'put-downs' as just 'opinions'.
@Sonya Marlene: ((Or maybe it's just an opinion and some people prefer blonde hair, snowflake.))
And opinions are a lot like butts. Everybody's got one. And most of them stink. Ok, I'm glad that we both understand that it's just YOUR opinion.
Europeans are very diverse. And everyone is unique in their own way.
@Sonya Marlene ((Jeez, the whole world doesn't revolve around you. Keep your hair what you want, I couldn't care less about it. I just meant that when people say that a certain colour is better, it's what they prefer, and if someone doesn't like dark hair, they are not ignorant, it's just a preference.))
Funny how I'm accused of saying that the world 'circles' around me, which I didn't. Though these so called 'western positive' individuals have openly admitted that they believe that ((brunettes are not under the same targeted attack as those with the fair features)) and in turn, use this as a pretext to justify their show of partiality. And that's a perfectly fine to say and do, right? But don't you dare call others out for their show of partiality and favor based on physical characteristics. No color is objectively 'better'. Because remember: your opinion is just that, YOUR opinion. Nobody else has to buy into it.
People who just won't stop flapping their gums about their preferences, as if we should feel validated by their opinions. 🙄Dear Aryan apologists and online neon pagans, nobody cares what you think. If you prefer vanilla ice cream to chocolate, why should you care if I prefer chocolate because I think it's better? Get my point? So again, your opinion is just that: YOUR opinion.
You don't have to agree with me 100%. You can agree or disagree with me as much as you want. Personally, I'd like to know what my Lord and savior prefers, which is the only preference that truly matters.
((The most intellectually lazy way to deal with opinions that counter your own is to assume 'hatred'.))
-Zuby
And while this is true, it is also true that you can state your opinion without seeing the need to insult another person's appearance or treat them partially because they don't fit into your little box or 'preference'.
My original point is: Saying "I prefer blonde hair" is not the same as saying: (("That sucks, you have dark hair and eyes which is of the same generic color pallet as 97 percent of the planet. That's problematic. Hell, you have poor genes")). Those are not opinions. They are insults (coupled with bullying and shaming tactics). And I see this a lot under the comment section of "Western positive" posts.
So why am I objecting to disparaging those born with these beautiful hair shades and calling it an opinion or preference? For one, it is childish to put someone down for their looks. Elementary school kids do that. Am I talking to adults? Or kids?
If, after making a statement in defense of someone who was put down by others for his looks; and I get the response that (("it's just an opinion"))? I think I may be talking to a kid. And these kids may or may not realize how they are coming across to others. Especially when seeing the way some of these women have expressed their disposition towards their natural beauty.
So why are so many women falling for this? 👇
Once again, we are doing it do ourselves, and why?
You are no less beautiful than the average blonde. And if you don’t think that beauty can fall on those with darker features as well as those with light ones, then I encourage you to visit our Brunette Beauty page on FB & see them for yourself!
Congrats ant-nats and neo-pagans. You just encouraged some Western women to hate their appearances. What does that say about your so-called 'positive' community? Maybe you should stop contributing to the problem by encouraging more self-hate.
Addressing the perceived Brunette women's victim mentality:
Do you want to know what is really problematic? Look no further than these types of posts. Opinion or insult? You tell me. 👇
(("eVeRyOnE eLsE iS jUsT A ShAdE oF BrOwN")) Colorist much?
But what happens when you start speaking about your struggle with this prejudice? They will tell you:
(("You're trying to make yourself look like a victim."))
(("Why don't you go bother some "normal" dark-haired people who are boring to look at such as yourself."))
(("Struggle"... sure. Tell that story to blondes, about what a victim you are, and to check their blonde privilege.))
When they start gaslighting you or demand that you to sit down and shut up about colorism, it's an indication for you to either tell them to hit the road or walk away. Because I am going to become more vocal about it than ever before! Life is too short to surround yourself with people who don't see your value. So again, this gaslighting is an indication that either they have never looked into other perspectives, or they just don't want to be called out for their colorism.
Either you value all of your people, or you don't value any of them! You can't promote favoritism in a community that you are trying to reach and expect to bring them into unity against self-hatred indoctrination.
How is the promotion of more self-hatred solving self-hatred in the Western world? Let me know how that works out for you.
So go ahead, sit back, pretend this is not a real problem in our community and sweep it under the rug when you see it. But what will this do but encourage most of our people to hate themselves (and all people of other races to hate themselves as well)? That's not how you 'love your people'. That's how you push them away!
Addressing the "God didn't color anything" typical atheistic argument:
Here I make my point:
"God colored me the way that he did because he liked it."
In response, he stated:
(("God didn't paint anything. That's just a result of your dominant DNA lol."))
God didn’t paint anything? Let's talk about this. His majesty, power, beauty, glory, and anything that you see that is glorious or beautiful is because of his greatness. It’s not because a paramecium got it on with a worm in a pond somewhere saying: “Let’s paint this glorious future”.
If you want to believe in King Kong, believe in King Kong. If you want to believe in King Jesus, believe in King Jesus. And I guarantee you, only one of them has an eternal kingdom.
The beauty of his majesty, his image, power, glory, and holiness are the most important things a person can possess. In him, I find my worth. In him, I find my identity!
For we are his image-bearers, his heritage, and we are a result of his creative genius! And without him, we are nothing!
Dealing with bias against those with brunette features in the West.
As I mentioned before: I've heard people says things such as ((Brunettes are not under the same kind of targeted attack as those with the more fair features)). What is with this victim complex people have? I've received some very backward comments that left me baffled. How do these people not realize that we all have our own set of struggles and suffer rejection?
A similar comment I received:
(("We focus on the promotion of lighter features on our people because they are the ones being targeted the most by antiwhites".))
Is that so? So, because I don't have blonde hair, my own personal experience of character assassination by antiwhites is not as valid?? Because I'm not blonde??? Or how about the endless put-downs I've received from my own people by the (("You're not what you should be")) comments promoting biases against those with brunette features? I've heard ignorant comments such as:
((“Unlike blondes, Brunettes don’t get bullied because of their hair color”.))
Really? Do you have your head under a rock? I’m just going to leave these comments right here. Swept under the rug, as always. 👇
Here I will list 9 common shaming tactics they will use to attack us.
Comments such as:
1. ((You're nothing special.))
👆 Did you hear that, Brunettes? You're nothing special. But every other hair color is unique... according to these colorist men and women. Is this not divisive?
👆 And there are those who will say that I'm the one being divisive for pointing this out, but this is not?
I'm sorry, I didn't realize we were competing in a 'hair color Olympics'. So, what's your next criteria for judging people? Eye color? Shoe size? Skin tone? It must be exhausting constantly trying to validate yourself by putting others down. I'll pass on that and stick with embracing who I am.
Common doesn't mean "boring". Have you ever heard of "common sense"? Maybe you should gain some?🤷
If you think being special is solely determined by the visible light spectrum seen through only 3 color cones within the human eye (which is extremely limited), you've got a lot to learn about what lies beyond that and what truly matters in life.
This hair... this body... it's all an outward shell. Its temporal. My outward appearance isn't who I am. We need to place our value on the things that are eternal, such as godliness, holiness, love, gentleness, meekness, temperance, HIS likeness, and the inner adornment which is imperishable. My color does not determine my significance or importance according to God's spiritual economy of value.
We got to stop falling for this deception, ladies and gents.
2. ((Brown hair came from the middle east.))
According to who? The Aryan purity antique nationalists? Even though this is meant to be a shaming tactic by neo-pagans and ant-nats, they would be correct in this assumption because we ALL came from the middle east! Every hair color, every skin tone, every haplogroup. 👇
So, you're putting all those with brunette features in the same category as the non-whites you despise? As if brown hair is not the most commonly inherited hair color scheme in Europe? Then where in the world did it come from?
You have now shown yourself to be a liar void of truth, a person that does not know your own history, and a hater of all those with brown features, including your own people.
You are pushing this insecurity you have about your brown features on others which has a 'misery loves company' vibe. You are the offender. And I'm calling you out for your show of partiality based on color. You will be judged for your hatred.
Did you know your ancestors had brown features? Every one of us descend from people that did. Why? Because we all descend from the same people and later migrated to different parts of the world (starting from the middle east), and in turn developed very differently depending on the climate they migrated to. "Indigenous to Europe"?? What a joke? 🤦
No two brunettes are exactly the same, either. We have different skin tones, eye colors, face shapes, hair textures, hair shades, eye shapes. We can have different builds and pretty faces. We can have curly hair, straight hair, silky hair, coarse hair, and various different hair shades from the lightest brown, mahogany, chestnut, dark brown auburn, plum brown, to black-brown. So even if you have brown hair, your hair color and shade are still unique!
Now, this is what I call hair diversity!
3. ((Blonde/Red is the universal standard of beauty))
To whom I may ask? 👇
☝️((“Nature can't be fooled”)) Ok... let's address this, (("I think, therefore, my thoughts are universal to nature")):
Now, the last thing I want to seem like I'm doing is telling people that they're not allowed to have their own standards of what's commonly referred to on these boards as 'aesthetics'. You definitely are allowed that much. So, let's make sure we're all on the same page regarding that.
It does, however, get too far when you begin to regard your own, individual standards of beauty as an objective benchmark. You then become unable to appreciate how other people might have very different ideals of beauty, and thus you refuse to regard their astonishingly dissenting viewpoints as valid. Neander Thule and Argont Sept don't realize standards of beauty are less universally objective, and more culturally ingrained.
So, as I said previously, your opinion is just that: Your OPINION! Nobody else has to buy into it.
4. ((Brunettes are overrated))
Oh, are they now? Because I see the very opposite being promoted here: 👇
Overrated??? More like underrated. 👇
More underrated comments: 👇
Nothing like being told that your brown features aren't diverse enough. We've got some diverse hair colors shown above. And they are nothing short of unique and beautiful!
5. ((“Your default traits are not unique”))
Well, lookie here folks. If you uplift your own image, you will undoubtedly get the: ((“sorry blonde is better”)) or (("your default isn't unique")) comments. I know I did. We aren’t comparing ourselves to other beauty standards. We’re just in gab and Twitter celebrating our beauty. 👇
But then here comes the ((“Your traits are generic”)) comments. Funny how they say this based on one thing they see about you that they don't like without bothering to get to know anything about you. They just judge you by your hair color. They don't consider the value that you have to bring to the table, nor your beautiful, rare eye color (since they believe that's the most important thing), or anything else about you.
Don't label me. I'm one of a kind.
6. ((Nothing wrong with brunettes. But most people of all races prefer what is rare))
Here we go again with the rarity argument. I know I talk a lot about colorism because this was something that severely damaged me as a young person. When you constantly are being sent messages like this from Western men, that you aren't the "right" color, and that people in general don't "prefer" you? I can't believe that people can be this cruel. And is this what Western people (and non-Western people in general) want their kids to be taught? I want my children to love their hair and eyes as well as their skin, no matter the color.
((Well, I prefer lighter women. Blonde is simply mesmerizing!)) --posts a picture of a blonde woman--
Great! I prefer a man who sees my value as a human being and treats me as such. You don't seem to be my type anyway. So, what would be the purpose of you coming to me with that? Could this be to pour salt in the wound? To send a message that encourages self-hate, self-harm, insecurity, and self-rejection which would inevitably harm others, even those of our own people group? What's the purpose of throwing this at women like me who don't fit into that box?
And if your pre-supposition is true, that brunettes are not "generally preferred", then explain to me how it is that brunettes marry more and are widely chosen by men of great status, and men of all races? 👇
☝️ He seems to have a bias but how would he like it if I said: "Nothing wrong with Westerners with pale skin. I have pale skin. Just telling you from a female perspective nearly every race prefers what is darker, with tan to brown skin."
And what would that be perceived as by them? These men would get so angry if we expanded our dating options, wouldn't they? "I'm not choosing anyone that's not choosing me. Besides, I have a different preference for darker men, anyway." That statement will be all it takes for them to get angry because you don't 'prefer' them. At least women like me would have more of a chance in finding someone who would actually value them, right?
They would hate it if we expanded our dating options, wouldn't they? And women like us don't even have to exclude white men from our dating pool but simply expand on it, and these men will get angry about it.
((“Publicly, we’ll put down brunette women, mock them for seeking validation, tell them that they are “nothing special” or tell them that their “default” traits aren’t unique, tell them that lighter features are better, gaslight them if they dare speak out about their personal experience of our colorist bias, tell them that it is mediocre to celebrate their differences, and so on. But we’ll get ‘so angry’ when they date outside of our race.”))
And what do they do to women that actually do this? I've seen them say things such as: (('You’re fat, ugly, or ‘you’re not holding yourself to a standard.’ That’s the real reason nobody wants you')). It’s like they want them to believe that it is all their fault that they are not ‘valued more’ by them. While these men have failed to realize that their attitude and disposition towards women who look like us may cause some of them to look elsewhere for someone who will actually value them. It could also cause many of them to think that their differences don't matter, so why care?
This sounds like: ((“I don’t want you, and your differences are mediocre, but you can’t leave me”)). How much sense does that make?
You're excluding them on the basis of their color because you have a preference for lighter features. Now you're going to turn around and shame them for having a different preference, too? Oh, the irony. Sounds like a double standard to me.
7. ((Brunettes are a dime a dozen))
In comparison to who? You? Are you comparing yourself to me? 👇
Who says brunette hair can't be eye-catching? If that's the message you're getting from some very biased opinions, let's set the record straight.
(("Brunettes are a dime a dozen?")) This is just an intimidation tactic. The idea that rarity equals value is flawed. Consider this: 600 lb women are rare, but does that automatically make them more valued? Comparing value based on superficial traits like hair or eye color is nonsensical.
Let's talk facts: Blue eyes are the second most common eye color globally, right after brown. Yet, they're highly praised and considered highly desirable. Around 27% of the population has blue eyes, and they are celebrated despite their commonality.
Now, consider brunettes. Brunettes make up only about 11% of the world's population. Western people, who are most likely to have brunette hair. The Western population constitutes around 10% of the global population. So, are Western brunettes truly as common as some might claim? The idea that brunettes are insignificant is a false narrative designed to undermine confidence.
The brunette shade category is the most diverse in the world! Each brunette is unique like fingerprints as well as every other human being on this planet!
The diversity within the brunette shade category alone is vast and beautiful.
Ladies, don't fall for these deceptive comparisons. Every woman has intrinsic value, and each one of us is unique and special to our Creator. Embrace your individuality and remember that beauty comes in many forms. Stand with hair love, brunettes—you are truly remarkable.
8. ((Brown hair is boring))
And what do these lighter women say when they hear men publicly speak out against us? I hear crickets. And these women who benefit from colorism also internalize this: 👇
"You don't have to be rare to be beautiful or valued by someone." This same comment is also met with this comment below. 👇
((“Why don't you go bother other normal dark-haired people who are as boring to look at as yourself.”))
Your attitude is far more unattractive than any hair color I've seen. It's ironic that you're calling others boring while spewing such cliché and shallow remarks.
Interesting people come in all shades, including brunettes. It's a shame you can't see that. You're missing out on a lot of amazing individuals.
If you believe that someone is boring based on their physical appearance alone, you're boring and projecting your own insecurities onto the other person, and that’s your problem.
The whole idea that people or life is boring comes from boring people who refuse to look beyond their level of perception.
It’s amazing how people will judge you based on one thing they see only with their eyes. I have a lot more to offer than my physical appearance.
Some of these people will be angry with me for speaking the truth:
"You don't have to be rare to be beautiful or valued".
That's truth! But think about why they would be angry about that. Those who respond this way are only angry because we are not agreeing to put them above us. Because we recognize that they are people just like us. So, they resort to trying to put themselves above you by putting you down.
Who says that brown hair is boring? Let's prove them wrong!
Oh, we can tell that you care and that you are bothered so much by a confident woman with brunette features.
Many of these women with these light and bright features and rare traits love being exclusive. They love being elevated above you. You may risk looking like a hater by pointing this out, but don’t feel intimidated or wrong for doing so by the ((‘you’re just jealous’)) statements they will often throw at you.
This old intimidation tactic (usually made by other women who have these traits or men who prefer other beauty types) is all about an attempt to shame us out of our confidence. Heck! We even do it to ourselves!
And again, these women and men who possess these light and bright features internalize this! 👇
Two a penny? Oh, we know the difference between celebrating what had been gifted to you and in turn saying that white people with dark hair or non-whites compared to you are boring and uninteresting and that there is nothing special about them (these traits don't make you better than anyone else). But let's just be honest about ourselves. How would we feel if we were put on a pedestal and worshiped for some extraordinary trait we were born with? You can give yourself the answer to that question. This is nothing short of the human ego at play.
My best advice is to anyone dealing with people like this is to ignore them. Pay them no attention at all.
9. ((Darker features are generic and petty))
Petty definition: not very important.
Imagine looking this little girl in the face and uttering comments that suggest they are "nothing special" or "of less importance" because they are not blonde. What a way to break a child's heart. Maybe that's why we have so many broken adults today who have resorted to bleaching and destroying their beautiful brown locks for blonde or red hair and working hard to change their appearances.
Confession: I struggled with this for many years. My spirit was broken by this. I wanted to be different like my siblings. I wanted it more than anything! Why? Because I wanted to be valued as they were valued.
Their gods tell them to hate me. Their gods 'hate' dark features. They even say so themselves. So why would I want to worship their gods? Or gods of their own ego? And again, this is their central focus: this all-light features Aryan beauty standard. This is what they deem as the 'most important' thing. Many of these Neo-Pagans hate anyone that's not them or anyone who has dark features. How different from the Biblical God.
Aryan??? I never spoke of such a thing. But this serves as a red flag here. Imagine me needing validation from those who don't like themselves.
We would like to be valued as these other women are valued. And if it were them who were being put down on the basis of their color, they would be the ones complaining about it.
Forgive the ease, but it seems that these Aryan apologists worship light features, white purity, white religion, and race-realism: however, you want to put it. That's their idol: a big white one to say the least.
I am not paying any attention to this nonsense of endless genealogies and myths because when it comes to salvation, redemption, greatness, or God's favor, my pedigree means nothing.
The more I get to know God's word, the more I realize what is truly important verses what these neo-pagans call important. They are two totally different things and two very different belief systems.
Know that your worth comes from a higher place. That is your creator!
Ok, Aryan purity Ant-Nats. I'm speaking to you:
I'm rejecting your value system. Yes, I've learned to accept my hair, love it, and cherish it in spite of hateful and high-minded people like you who wish I didn't.
(("Too bad - you might actually accomplish something otherwise.")) - James @ReverendDraco
Just because we don't hold ourselves to your standard doesn't mean we don't hold ourselves to a standard!
To judge someone based on one thing, such as hair/eye color; that's pretty shallow to me. I have a lot more to offer than my self-image.
I have skills, I have talents. I have real value to bring to the table. So, I'll say... these people who have put me down on the basis of my color will receive zero support from me.
Anybody who judges you by the standards that are set by this world, they don't deserve you. So, respect yourself enough not to cast your pearls before those who are obviously swine and pigs, those who will not value the preciousness of that which you give.
So... do you still believe brunettes don't receive hate or bias? And I'll have to say that this has become so prevalent and out in the open, and even accepted. So if you are one of those people who say (("I'm a brunet and I know this is hogwash")) either your head has to be under a rock or it is something that you've chosen to ignore. In spite of showing this to people who wish to gaslight me, this is something they will brush off. I could only imagine if it were a blonde woman being attacked on the basis of her color by prejudice people. That would gain any traction, wouldn't it? Oh wait... what is this? 👇
Funny how they are so quick to jump at the defense of them when they are discriminated against, persecuted, or hated on. But when it comes to us, it seems that when we speak about how we are put down because of our brown features, we're just jealous bitter women to them? We're just SJWs crying 'blonde privilege'? These arguments are pretty dumb to me.
So, to the men (or women) who are making these arguments, when you come to their rescue when they are put down and bullied for their looks, but you don't do the same for us? You are perpetuating the problem. And you don't want to acknowledge the problem, and if you do see it, you still don't want to fix it.
Don't ever be desperate for their attention!
I used to feel the same way towards my siblings who were born with light and bright cotton-colored hair and ruby red tresses. And often I struggled with not getting the compliments they did, and in my (then) child-like way, was able to express that this bothered me. And in the midst of trying to move on from this, as an adult; I still kept hitting a wall. I still felt very insignificant in a world that I felt did not see my worth.
To be honest, I felt invisible to most people around me, especially to those who overlooked me to such an extent.
Then again, they did notice me. They just didn't see that I was "different" like my siblings. So, what do you do? First off, don't give people like this an ounce of your attention. If they don't appreciate you, they don't deserve you. Move on. Let them lose you! If they don't see your value, don't cast your pearls before swine.
And if someone doesn't appreciate you, you don't bring them back into your life. You stay away from them! You don't call them, you don't text them, and you don't unblock them! You don't give them a single ounce of your time!
You don't give them any ounce of your attention! And don't you ever be desperate for anyone else's attention! They want to make you chase. You don't get on your knees and beg them for their attention! You make them beg! You grow up on them by working on yourself by finding your value!
So how do you find your value? For starters, it would be a good idea not to focus on those who overlook you, those who ignore you, those who don't appreciate you, those who don't see your value. Don't waste your time with these people. Stop trying to prove your value to them! Prove it to yourself. You don't need them in your life in order to live. They are not your oxygen tank!
People who fail to appreciate valuable things aren't essential to your well-being. Your true worth surpasses their limited perception. Remember, genuinely valuable things are often overlooked. It's not your fault if certain individuals fail to recognize your worth. What's crucial is that you recognize it within yourself.
When you discover your value, when you begin to shine with confidence, you will begin to attract the people who will appreciate you, your own unique qualities, and recognize your worth, and those who will treat you like the delicate treasure that you are. Keep in mind that what one man may overlook, another may treasure like fine China. Because these people exist. You just need to find them! And you can attract them by finding your value first!
What lesson would this teach you? That when you throw pearls before swine, nothing good comes from it. So, you should feel as good as hell about yourself. Because I have discovered that the world has many diverse opinions and perspectives, and it is important to surround yourself with the right people, those who will treasure you!
((But Sonya, people like that are very rare.))
Yes, they are. Because they themselves are treasures! It's hard for everyone. Because we are living in a generation where the majority of people are cut-throat, damaged, battling demons, have hidden agendas, don't know how to give or receive love, fine with situationships, and just completely lost. It is very rare that you will come across someone who will actually be for you, that will stimulate you emotionally, physically, mentally, and psychologically towards your dreams, ambitions, and your God-given purpose. This is true for everyone! It is indeed rare to come across such a person. So, when you find one, hold onto them! And never let them go. Everyone else, let them go! Just let folks go!
So why is it, that only certain people could truly see me, but not most people?
They didn't see me. Why? Because they couldn't. Often God himself will hide our value from certain people purposefully because they cannot go where he is taking us.
And often he will hide our value from certain people because if they truly saw what God had placed in us, and if they truly knew of who we really were, what our dreams were, and what we would become, and our destination for greatness, they would seek to sabotage it.
And while I did realize the purpose that God had placed in my life, I was continually being distracted and bombarded by this world's way of looking at things. And therefore, distracting me away from God's purpose. It was very hard to overcome.
But I already had my own uniqueness, I just needed to realize that. I am loved and valued by my creator, who gave his life for me.
That's how much he thinks I'm worth. And greater is no love!
I continued to wrestle with this lie that told to me: (("You're not what you should be")). Until one day.... I had a breaking point.
I had a little conversation with God. I asked him: "What is of true value... in this world?"
I told him exactly how I felt all these years... about my hair. How I hated it. How I was told that it was a curse. I gave him the spill about every lie and every unfavorable criticism I got for it. How I was overlooked by people because of it. How I suffered the pain of rejection because of it. How I thought that it wasn't fair. And the list goes on. I took the frustration of rejection to God in anger! It was then I began to feel such unbearable pain. An agony that I have never felt before. An extreme sadness in my soul. I just took what God created perfectly in his image, threw it back in his face, and rejected it.
This is victim mentality, that the world glorifies; telling you that you can't be successful because you were born a certain color or created a certain way; will keep you from moving ahead in life.
Comments such as:
((I can't find someone to love because of my hair color.))
((I can't get a job because of my hair color.))
((They won't accept me because of my hair color.))
((I can't be successful because of my hair color.))
((All these people are discriminating against me because of my hair color.))
This victim mentality will get you nowhere! And I mean, NOWHERE! Why do I say this? If you continue with this type of mentality, you will attract the people who agree with this insecurity you carry around. I know this by experience. It's time to ditch the victim mentality! Go free!
Who told you? (Genesis 3:11)
"Who told you that you were naked?" The Lord God asked. As if he is saying to Adam and Eve. "Listen. Who told you that you were naked? I didn't tell you that you were naked. Where did you get that from because it didn't come from me."
"Listen, who told you that you were cursed?" Because God is saying to you and me: "I didn't tell you that you were cursed. I don't know where you got that from. Who told you that you were default or "mediocre"? Who told you that you were not unique?" Because God is saying: "I didn't say that about you. Where did you get that from because it didn't come from me. Who told you that you were 'of little importance'? Who told you that you were two a penny? Or a dime a dozen? Who told you that you were petty, generic, or boring? And that you will never be accepted by most people? Because most people don't like people who look like you? Listen... that stuff... it didn't come from me. I didn't tell you that. Where did you get that from?"
We need to be incredibly careful that we do not believe things that God never told us.
It was after I had let him know exactly what I felt and struggled with that I began to repent of my anger, my self-hatred, and my idolization of this beauty standard that had been instilled in me since youth.
I took the frustration of being rejected to God. However:
Do not blame God for how you look or how you were created, just because you don't fit into someone else's idea of what a perfect human being should be like. Remember, they are not your creator.
I didn't want to be self-hating, as this Aryan doctrine has taught me to be. And I believe he saw my pain and had pity on me.
The Lord began to help me understand that this was a deception that I had fallen for. A lie! And it was time that I took heed to his word: to stop complaining, be thankful in all things, and to NEVER reject what God had created perfectly me.
I had been so focused on my own image and the pain of rejection that I had lost sight of the most important thing I had. I lost sight of the fact that God had already accepted me. That he was the one who advocated for me. That he was the one who cared to feel my hurt. I lost sight of the very thing I had that was truly important: HIS image, his likeness, his purpose for my life, the dreams he has put in my heart, and value he had placed inside of me.
The beauty of his majesty, his image, power, glory, and holiness are the most important things a person can possess.
And my hair is also a reflection of his image. And again, that is the most important thing a person can possess!
How did I get rid of the pain?
Sometimes, we give the devil more credit than he deserves. I can rebuke the devil all day to rid myself of this unbearable pain and sadness, which I tried to do at first. But I had to realize that this internal pain I was feeling was self-inflicted. And this pain would go away only if I took heed to his word, repent, embrace the truth, and live it!
After receiving my answer from God, it appears to me that what these Aryan minded apologists think of as important and what God sees as important are two totally different things.
Women of God, know your word. Know your worth, and don't be deceived by this. You can still celebrate your differences. But also realize where your value comes from and that is your creator and your redeemer!
Sometimes your need to be accepted can make you feel invisible in this world. Don’t let a world full of darkness and confusion determine your self-worth or significance. Know that the importance of the life you live lies in the purpose God has for you, not in how society views you.
We need more self love! 👇
If only we all would give ourselves that kind of attention and affirmation. 🙏🥰
So, I reject this value system, this doctrine of demons; that tells our brunets that they are of little importance or ‘insignificant’ because they aren’t blonde.
Now, do you understand how your younger years can help with your mindset? This is why it is important to teach our #brunettes as well as the others; to love themselves and who they were created to be. There is something so beautiful about confidence!
If you are one who has struggles with this, please remember that you have your own uniqueness don't forget that.
My siblings and even my mother may have not always understood what I was going through when I was treated badly by others, or treated differently than they were, or overlooked by others. But there is only one me. And there is only one you! Be good to yourself. Because the Lord made a point to create you, just as you are. As you age you will begin to understand what I am saying more and more. But for now, ask the Lord to show you all that makes you, you. and allow that to be ok and not like everyone else.
Be confident to know that there are people around you that are in awe of something they totally appreciate about you. Relationships are important to cultivate and deposit into, including and most importantly, ourselves.
My hair and my glory, and it is a unique gift to me. It couldn’t be more beautiful! So, believe it. Care for it and treat it as such. Make the world wonder why.
Dealing with Backhanded Compliments
One man told me, (("Brunettes are nothing but Redheads in disguise."))
What was meant to be a compliment actually made me think the opposite. I know that the guy who quoted this had good intentions, however; would they take it as a compliment if we said redheads are brunettes in disguise? No, of course, they wouldn't. They love being exclusive. That's why you can almost always guarantee that they will respond with:
(("No, we're better than that.")),
(("We're special")),
(("We're superior")),
(("We've got superpowers")).
All that kind of stuff. Yes, this beauty standard is promoted in our society. And yes, these women and men do internalize this. But know that this does not define a person's value or worth in God's eyes.
It was like two angels were sitting on my shoulder. One was uttering the hurtful lies, while the other was saying: "Sonya, you have the most gorgeous dark-brown hair shade I have ever seen. You don't need to be a redhead in disguise. You are perfect just the way you are."
Which one are you going to choose to believe?
Stepping out and being authentic isn't always easy, especially if you are seeking external approval only, which is not healthy. Because often, that may be met with more criticism. But the sooner you stop craving everyone's approval, the sooner you'll become comfortable with stepping out and being completely authentic. And, for the record, you can't have true confidence without authenticity.
I didn't just go natural. I decided to cherish what I've been given.
Amber eyes, just as God colored them, to radiate compassion and kindness. Cowlick, just the way He made my hair to fall on that side. Laugh lines that represent the many times I have smiled and laughed with the joy of the Lord throughout my lifetime. White hair that shows the years of experience and wisdom that I have gained. I don't wear anything to cover up my freckles or aging spots. God gave me those, and He placed them just where He wants them. I have no desire to change my nose, or use botox, or color my hair to make me into someone that I am not. This is how my creator made me and He does all things well. No, you're right, I might not be deemed as the prettiest. I may not be the thinnest. I might have a crooked smile, super pale freckled skin, high cheekbones, hooded eyes, and dark hair. But those things make up me, who I am, just as God wanted me to be.
It hurts my heart when so many precious women feel the need to change who they are into something they're not so that someone might approve of them. You don't need to starve yourself, or cut yourself, or get plastic surgery, bleach or artificially tan your skin, or change all that makes you who YOU are.
Each one of you is unique and special and beautiful in God's eyes. Each one of you is valuable to your Creator who delights in you. Each one of you has worth. And His is the only approval you should seek.
So, if you ask me why I don't mind people seeing who I am, the ME that Jesus made, it's because His Word says:
"I will praise you, for I am fearfully and WONDERFULLY made; Marvellous are your works, and that my soul knoweth right well!" Psalm 139:14
Now I can boldly say:
I’m like this. I love myself like this. And I won’t dye my hair or get a tan just to fit the pattern.
Don't be less of what God made you to be. I am fearfully and wonderfully dark porcelain. And you are fearfully and wonderfully ginger (or black, Asian, blonde etc.). Whatever your skin or hair is, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Rejoice!
Be ok with rejection!
Rejection is protection! Am I ok with these ant-nats and colorist men rejecting me on the basis of my color? Or those following their beauty standards? Heck yes! Because it shows what type of people they really are. And, again; often God will hide our value from others on purpose to protect us or to reveal to us the nature of who we're dealing with! I will not stand for their hatred of other white people and people of other races, nor do I agree with their view of the world. There is a broader way to view the world than just the color that someone was born with. The things that are most precious cannot even be seen with the naked eye!
Anyone who isn't comfortable with how you are, shouldn't be with you. They do not appreciate you, so they don't deserve you. You only hurt yourself allowing people like this into your life.
Rejection happens to everyone at certain points of their lives. Some people are rejected early on in life. But some later on in life. Some people are rejected based on different rules set by society or other individuals.
Early on in life, I've struggled with acceptance. It's like those girls I wanted to hang out with, but they didn't want to hang out with me or play with me. That kind of hurt... a little. The truth is, young people will form groups. They will form little cliques, clubs, and exclusion. And I wondered why they didn't want to hang out with me. And I told my mother, they don't want to play with me.
She said: "That's ok. You can go play by yourself. You've got 3 options. You can go play by yourself, you can play with your siblings, or you can go find someone else to play with."
I thought about it for a second... and then I went back to playing by myself.
It's important to teach your child, early on; how to be ok when somebody else sets a boundary. If a child is saying they don't want to play with your child, they do not have to. Just like your child don't have to play with them. But if you can teach your child the skill set of being ok with that, being ok with rejection, being ok with people not wanting to play with them, not liking them, not accepting them, the better their life will be. Because this will help spare them from this stronghold of rejection as an adult.
This isn't to try to change the way the world contemplates us. That would not be a sensible objective and I don't want to imagine that it is. But this would certainly affect how we see ourselves and how we view our beauty by changing the lens through which we see the world: to change our perspective. Therefore, transforming our lives.
The key to fighting rejection is to love yourself and know who you are.
I am a daughter of the most high God: unique and custom-made. There is no other human being in this world that is like me. I have no limitations.
Can you imagine if I wasted all my precious time trying to prove myself to the whole world and to make sure everyone liked me? Before stepping out and being authentic? Please, for the love of God and yourself, accept that not everyone is going to like you. That's ok! Not everyone loves brunettes. That doesn't mean they are not absolutely AMAZING!
This isn’t about changing other people’s minds who don’t like you. It’s to recognize that the image of God is the most important thing a person can possess. And we are created in his image.
Stop trying to prove your value to them!
Society often perpetuates this idea that we shouldn't be happy with ourselves because we don't fit certain beauty standards promoted by society or individuals. No scars to your beautiful is a reminder that beauty is not just found in one size, shape, or color. It can't always be seen with a naked eye. It comes in an endless amount of forms, and we need to recognize that.
Always remember that any measuring stick the world tries to measure you by is not qualified to define your worth. Know it!
So let's pretend that it's true that 3 out of 4 people prefer light features over dark ones (within some groups of people with differing opinions). Or maybe you were faced with that prejudice as I was. How do you deal with that? Well...
Three out of four people say that unlimited shades of shiny brown hair are boring and generic. Three out of four people are wrong! If we were for everyone, we would be for no one!
I've learned to stop letting these people become a priority in my life. Stop expecting these people to stand up and give you what you need. Prioritize your own well-being! Know that Jesus is the only thing you need to overcome the world and to be victorious! You're not a victim. You're a victor. So, claim victory and let the Holy Spirit guide you and bring the right people in your life who will see the incredible value God has placed in your soul!
Also, let them see you win with your beautiful dark chocolate locks! They will simply have to deal with it!
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Don't miss a thing! Peace!
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